She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
did i just pee glitter
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
