Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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