The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
As shirtless as possible
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
