What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize
