i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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