you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
