so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
