Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
