So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
