First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
