So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
