We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
