Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
