It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
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