It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
