This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
and she was petting her beer can
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Randomize