I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
3 2 1 whiskey
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize