let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
