Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
