I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
