Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
