Im at strip club and am horny
no, he came in my armpit
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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