How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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