Rock
Scissors
Fuck
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
The air was thick with penises
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
