Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
