Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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