dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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