I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
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