i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
