I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
