We're facebook friends in real life
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
