There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
