I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
