Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
