i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize