The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
The Olympian is in my bed
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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