if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
