i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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