1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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