we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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