guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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