His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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