Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I wannas sexs uuuuu
Nicole vs. Life
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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