I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
