she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Randomize
