Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
