I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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