is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
