At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
