He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
this hospital has no fireball
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize