Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
