K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize
