You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
