I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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