This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize