We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
