Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Randomize
