I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize