Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
