well I can't set my house on fire every night
I think I am morally bankrupt
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
