Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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