he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
