im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Randomize