she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
She's the barista slut.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
