I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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