no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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