The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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